there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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