whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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