Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
