Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
