I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
