Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The air taste purple.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
