And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just google imaged poop.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
