normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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