You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
