i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The Olympian is in my bed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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