I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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