either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
