literally had 100 drinks last night.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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