I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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