the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
love makes seman taste better
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
