I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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