I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
