he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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