He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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