It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
