At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
PANTIES FOUND
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