having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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