I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
