umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
