I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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