Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
from now on my penis is your penis
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
