Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
