I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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