Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
