i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
