He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
