she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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