There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize