is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My cat gives me a boner
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
