I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
be right there i have to get my cape
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize
