lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
