I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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