tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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