Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
