Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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