So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
