yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
