at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
time to smoke my breakfast
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
