they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
did you just send me my own nude
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
