the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
