I just made out with a guy for $7.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
