there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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