Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the day after is always just damage control
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
