I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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