So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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