Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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