she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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