Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
