you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
