You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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