if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize