that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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