Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
