I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
In other news, I just burned my penis
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
