Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
