she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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