when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
