I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
