id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
