Small penises have feelings too.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
