just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
