So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
